This is 2nd to last day of 25dom for me. I think I'm going to name this year "the year of being in over my head."

Everyone usually makes this kind of post around new years, but as the world revolves around me, this is my new year. I hope you all enjoyed your day off of work today due to my birthday.

So, let's take a look at the highlights of being 25 and qDot, both at the same time...

I don't usually make personal posts, but the funny thing is, almost everything I'm about to mention has played out in public. But, when I gather it here, it sure does seem like I should've kept a lot of it quiet in the first place.

Second half of January, 2005 -

• Finish the first release of the XBC Firmware for the Xport Botball Controller. This was my serious first exposure to a million different things (low level programming, FPGAs, verilog, circuits, electronics). It ate 3 months of my life, and in hindsight, jesus fucking christ I loved it. Wish it would've gone on a kinder schedule, but oh well.
• Finally start Slashdong, after a year and a half sitting on the domain name that Reverend Scott Motherfucking Crawford: The Ride bestowed upon me. I was just planning on tracking sex technology, and starting a little project Eating Out, a food review page of strip clubs. I predicted that it would be wildly popular. The page was never finished, and continues to sit in a stagnant state. I still maintain it's a good idea, I just don't really care anymore.
• An bitterly disappointed when a visit to a Girls Gone Wild party reveals very few girls, and very little wildness.

February -

• February 24, 2005 - A day that will live in... whatever it is insignificant blog posts live in. While Kelly (for those of you not aware, The Woman has actually does have a name.) is away, I realize that, unlike in 2003, I have enough knowledge to actually build what was then called SeXQuake. Taking out my Radio Shack soldering iron, I glue together an xbox controller and an LED dildo I just happened to have (this is back in the days when people looked at me weird for "just having" that), get a friend to come over and take pictures, and post up the crude instructions on the web. Within the two weeks, the article sees gets 100,000 views. The SeXBox is born.
• Sign up to Regina Lynn's Sex Drive Mailing List, a place that I will end up meeting quite a few interesting people who are now good friends.


• 2 people leave at work. Life sucks in office terms until April.
• Kelly continues not to leave me during this time.

March -

• News continues to spread about the SeXBox. I create version 2, which is mildly safer than version 1, but still shows off my complete lack of knowledge of electronics at the time. "The more you kill, the longer the vibrator stays on. The more territory you acquire, the faster it goes. The more lines you get, nothing happens, 'cause wars aren't fought with Tetris." becomes one of the nominees for "qDot sayings of the year".
• In true to form fashion, I get put onto a Mars Drilling project that's in need of some programming help. What I say will take 2 days consumes the next 2 months of my life.

April -

• Logan signs on at KIPR. Office life is now the best it's ever been.
• Start doing interviews about the SeXBox, Slashdong, and Teledildonics. Finally have the sense to pick up a book on electronics, so I don't look like a complete dumbfuck. At this point, I enjoy the attention and answering questions.
• Get contacted by Brenda Brathwaite, as she had just finished doing her panel on Sex in Games at GDC, to rave reviews. Conversation starts with questions about the SeXBox and video games, then, for some reason, my knowledge of the history of sex in video games begins to peek out. The fact that I'm a walking encyclopedia on the topic comes as a surprise to me as well as others.
• Go to NASA. Yeah, that NASA. What the fuck I was doing at NASA, I'm still trying to figure out to this day. NASA, man. Fuck. That's one of those things I'm seriously never gonna get over.
• Kelly continues not to leave me during this time, not that I would've noticed until after I got back from NASA, but it would've sucked.

May -

• Recoup from NASA, mostly. It was a quiet month.

June -

• Holy shit, I'm in Wired. This was my first major press. End up being so excited about it that I can't sleep and have to stay home from work the next day. Initial freakout about "hidden identity" thing, but I get over it, still pressing on as qDot.
• Other than that, quiet.
• Kelly almost leaves me, out of boredom.

July -

• I decide it's time to take the SexBox into virtual world, and sign up for an account to Second Life. This ends up being simultaniously the smartest and stupidest thing I've done in many, many years (Yes, even moreso than the sextoy shit). The next 2 months, every waking moment of my life becomes dedicated to Second Life.
• Within the first 3 days of SL, I have it talking to the SeXBox.
• Satisfied that I have once again become interesting enough to ruin the relationship on my own, Kelly resumes not leaving me.

August -

• Brenda starts IGDA Sex in Games Special Interest Group. I join.
• Brenda asks me to speak with her at the Austin Games Conference. I hyperventalate.
• On yet another good domain name idea alone, I start MMOrgy. I'm still questioning whether this was a good thing. Where I had stayed abstracted from whole crazy sex0rz part of Slashdong ("It's engineering, really!"), now I'm right in the middle of a ton of gender and human sexuality theory. For those not paying attention, remember, I'm an engineer, in the middle of a ton of gender and human sexuality theory. Can you see where this is going yet? I sure didn't.
• If you saw where this was going back then, please tell me, so that I may punch you.

September -

• I am asked to be on the Leadership Committee of the Sex in Games SIG. I hyperventalate, again.
• I start working on SL projects for Nonpolynomial Labs, trying to gain myself some sort of credibility outside of sex technology. I mildly succeed (I'm in the slides on that last one). Not happy with what I get for some reason, I go back to sex writing. I will later regret this.
• Kelly will also regret this, but still sticks around.

October -

• The beginning of the end. If you've got your MP3 players ready, Lux Aeternus from the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack should be playing right now.
• Burn the fuck out on SL. Never want to see it again.
• Build the SeXBox v4 in the space of about a week. Finally start realizing that maybe I don't suck quite so bad at this electronics stuff after all.
• Take the SeXBox v4 to the Austin Games Conference, specifically, the Sex in Games talk at the Women in Games Conference. Make a blubbering fool of myself up *until* the moment I step on stage, at which point, I am god. Presentation goes insanely well, due to my split personality that takes over when I'm in social situations.
• As of the conference, I stop being qDot, and start being Kyle, at least to the press. Whether this is a good idea depends on my job status at tne end of this next year.
• More importantly, I get to see talks by 2 4orty2wo employees, both who make my mind asplode. I'm still going back over my notes on them.
• Kelly has more fun in Austin than I do. I contemplate leaving her.

November -

• Even with extra writers, research and planning for articles MMOrgy eats all of my time. I start getting really unhappy. I don't know why.
• I become an expert on emergent sex in video games. I don't know how.
• After the success at AGC, I am asked to speak at GDC and SXSW Interactive. I now have a lucky paper bag for hyperventalating.
• Lots of interviews. Unlike in April, and with the way my logic works, I start getting frustrated that the journalists don't just all ask me one question and then talk amongst themselves.
• I start losing it.

December -

• I am named one of the 10 sexiest geeks of 2005.
• In a completely unrelated event, I lose it.
• My best tries at making Kelly also lose it fail.

First half of January, 2006 -

• Realizing GDC is 2 months away, I finally order a microprocessor to build the next version of the SeXBox with. This ends up being the first major engineering project I've done since August. I start feeling like me again. A desk full of wires, a screen full of assembly. I'm home.
• I realize I need to get away from the whole blogging game in general for a while. I'm not a gender theorist, I'm not a sexologist. I may be good at it, but I'm not happy at it.
• I realize I have started the Gothic Scouts, all over again, except the stakes are MUCH higher.
• I realize I need to sit in my room and make circuits, make cubes with facial expressions, work on music, go play table tennis, go fly kites. Not talk about MMO sex all the time. I'm still fine with teledildonics, 'cause there's tons of technology there.
• Add the Sex in Games conference to the speaking pile. But damn, it's gonna be FUN. (Really. Not joking here.)
• I realize I have no idea how to do this.
• Kelly leaves.
• HAH, just kidding, just went to see some friends. She'll be back in a couple of days.
• I realize how lucky I am she didn't actually leave, as this story wouldn't have ended so well were I alone right now. Love you, beb.

So, here I am. However much has happened, however much has changed, when I look back at the beginning of this list, I realize I'm still pretty much the exact same person. A little less inhibited, a little more well known, but for everything that's changed, just as much has stayed the same. Of course, it's taken me 11 months to see that.

Even so, I can't say I'm unhappy with it.

Next Post: The 2005 qDot Awards.